I Corinthians 7:1-7
“Fulfilling Marital Duties: Part I”
Sermon by
Mark A. Horne
Today we begin a five-part study on Paul’s discussion of marriage in his letter to the Corinthians. I want to set the background for what the Corinthians may have thought about marriage that may help us understand our own situation today. Then we will look at the text more thoroughly.
One of the most important issues that we have to understand is that polygamy was frowned upon in the 1st century. The culture for both Greeks and Jews was monogamous. Both cultures believed in having only one mate in marriage. Though the Patriarchs in the OT may prove having more than one wife, by the time of Jesus this idea was a thing of the past. So our Mormon friends who say that polygamy is all right, and then use New Testament Scripture as proof, has taken the text completely out its historical context.
Another important issue that took place during the time of Paul was the fact that marriages were arranged. There was no falling in love, as we believe should happen in our American culture. Now don’t get me wrong. I don’t think this is the way it should be. However, it may help us. But this is the way their culture was. They believed a marriage was a business transaction. It was the father’s duty to contract their daughters in marriage. It could happen as early as age twelve.
Now you may be asking, why all this hoopla over “love” in the Scripture if this was the case? Why is “love” commanded for the spouse? These are good questions that have an answer that will be repeated regularly in our study. “Love” to the ancients was a presupposition that involved a decision of the will and to entail feelings. There was no courtship or competition to seek out a mate. There was no romanticism in the Roman culture to which you would marry. You married and you loved that person because they were your wife or husband. It was something you should have been able to control. And, as we have seen in our previous studies, adultery was frowned upon even by the pagans. Did it happen? Obviously it did. Paul is addressing this in our passage and we need to pay attention to what he has to say. This is something that has trickled down through history and plagues us in the Western culture.
I believe that we can gain three points from our text this morning:
1) Let each have his or her own spouse.
2) Let each render unto the other due benevolence.
3) Use the gift that God has given you.
First, let each person have his or her own spouse. This is seen as a remedy to Paul’s admonition about sexual immorality in the proceeding passage that we studied last week. Verses 1 and 2 acts as a transition about Paul’s discussion of doing the wrong thing, adultery, to doing the right thing, marriage in the least. The Corinthians still had respect for Paul. They had not half listened to him because they obviously thought they were smarter than he was, as we have seen. Yet, they still respected him enough to find out his instruction concerning a point that they were either confused about or were doubtful of. Satan had crept in the church in Corinth and by God’s providence they wrote Paul to find out how combat the problem. Satan is among us as well. He wants to devour our faith. He wants to use any method, even working us against our spouse, to accomplish the goal of turning us against Christ.
Paul said, “it is a good for a man not to marry…” Now, what I believe Paul means is this. It is good not to marry or “touch a woman” if it is his or her power to do so. If it is not, then there is another premise that needs to be taken. Why does Paul say it is good? Well don’t mistranslate this as good verses evil. Don’t think this is good as an opposition to what is bad. Paul is not saying don’t marry because it is bad. This is “good” as a statement to show that there are things that go along with marriage that is incidental to the issue. In other words, married people have to deal with troubles, vexations, and anxieties that those who are unmarried do not. Paul is saying if one has the power to stay unmarried and can remain faithful to Christ, then that person should do so.
Calvin gives a good illustration of this. We all have to eat drink and sleep don’t we. It is a part of our life. However, if we had the power not to do these things in order to spend more time in the ministry of God, then we would do so, right. These things would be a hindrance to what we would want to do for God. But most of us can’t. Though some may be able to skip a few meals or miss a night in sleep, most people can’t. They have not the power to do this. Paul is saying, “I hope you have the power not to marry, but I know most can’t. It is good if you don’t marry, but it is not wrong if you do.”
Now this raises an obvious question. What about the institution of marriage that God specifically laid out in Genesis 2? Remember that the institution of marriage was put into place before the fall. The wife was and still is a means to complete the man. But then the fall of man occurred and this institution became corrupted like everything else. And just as miseries are apart of everything else, they are apart of the marriage institution as well. This is not to say that your husband and wife are evil, though my wife might think it sometimes of me. What we have to do is distinguish between the pure ordinance of God and the punishment of sin. The miseries and vexes are apart of our fall, not the institution itself.
And as verse two states, the institution of marriage is the recourse to avoid doing the wrong thing. This command is for one to understand his or her limitation. Yet, it is not the only reason one should marry. Marriage is an institution by God given to mankind for helping one another, having children, but most of all glorifying God because of His graces.
The second point is that each should render unto the other due benevolence. In verses 3-5 Paul gives some instruction for those whom are married. If Paul were opposed to marriage, he wouldn’t say these things. But understanding what God has lain on his heart to teach the Corinthians he must proclaim this in the light of Christ. Paul is giving some rules for the married couple. The husband should love his wife and the wife should love her husband.
It is not like the ad sent out on the Internet by a wife that read:
"Husband
wanted". Next day she received a hundred and eleven E-mails. They all said the
same thing: "You can have mine."
No. Notice the connection that we all must understand today between love and duty. If one is to love his or her spouse they have a duty to them. They have control over their thoughts and actions. They have control over their desires. I believe one has the power to will their love for a person. One who states that they have “fell out of love with their husband or wife” has no basis, in my opinion, for separation. For I think that if one has “fell out of love” so to speak, then they have allowed themselves to do so, based on this passage of Scripture. If you want to flip my interpretation on its head, do so the right way – because there are many men and women who live in terrible situations that probably call for not loving one, who still loves the person they are with, aren’t they? They have willed their love for that person even in the crummy situation they may be in.
Also notice in this passage that Paul puts both the husband and wife on the same level. Paul doesn’t discuss obedience and subjection of the wife here. Paul discusses these things for both of them. They both need to be obedient and subject to the other. There is mutual obligation when it comes to being faithful to the institution of marriage. Both should have enough respect for the other to maintain fidelity.
Also, notice in verse 5 that Paul speaks to the Corinthians out of necessity. I dare say it is the same necessity that we have in the 21st century American culture. Paul knew that a false appearance of the sanctity of marriage could pollute minds. It was there in Corinth and it is apart of our life as well. We see it every day. You cannot watch a commercial on television, much less show, without a false appearance of the sanctity of marriage being jeopardized by a stick of gum, a bottle of shampoo, and I am sure you can name others yourself. Satan dazzles us with a false appearance of what is right. What gratification the Prince of this world has when we leave our calling to pursue another kind of life. Being a fallen human being, we want that instant gratification, and this we have to guard against. We have to treat our married obligation very carefully. We are bound to our spouse by mutual connection. The husband is only one half of his body and so is the wife. We do not have liberty of choice, but we need the other for help and assistance, because if we had liberty, we would surely act in a manner not worthy to be called a Christian. We need to help each other’s necessity, and not act as if one is at the disposal of the other.
Also notice that if there is any withholding, it should be done by mutual consent. Abstaining from the other is not right, even if you think it is a means of worshiping God, when the other does not agree to it. In the early church, monks thought it was OK to go off for worship because they were doing it for God. This is a noble duty when the wives consented. However, what they did not realize was that when the wife did not consent they were actually breaking the Lord’s covenant by loosening up a bit on the marriage tie. Notice that Paul is saying if you do abstain, do so with the right kind of fasting and prayer that when you do come together again, your temptation will be lessened. We can resist Satan and therefor stay faithful to our spouse. It is our reliance upon God that gives us strength.
This leads us to our third and final point; use the gift that has given you. Paul wanted his listeners to understand, and I think rightly so we need to understand that marriage is an institution given by God for several reasons, but the foremost is to bring Him glory. Paul tells his Church that one may have the gift of staying unmarried as he was, but the other may not have that gift. Paul’s doctrine shows that those who don’t have the gift of staying unmarried cannot allow for them to turn to a life of celibacy. Paul understood the human condition, and he knew that everyone could not be a celibate person. Paul makes this really clear when he says that he tells them these things as a permission or concession not as a command. Paul could not command something that he knew more or likely would result in sin. It is better to live off of marriage than celibacy.
The ancient fathers used this passage also and Roman Catholics for those who are ministers should remain celibate, better yet virgin. But Paul is totally against this. Virginity is an excellent gift; but keep in mind it is only a gift. If one does not have this gift then they need to get married. It is not a virtue of worship of God. It is a virtue that proves oneself errorless before Him and then respectful to the one that another might marry. During the first century where marriages were arranged, this was a life of holiness to their culture. Now in the culture we live, it is still a life of holiness to the one we may marry, since we do not know who that may be. Though the culture is different, their arranged marriage verses our capitalistic marriage, the life for God is still the same. The celibacy is to remain faithful to God and then to that person we might marry. Therefore, use the gift that has gracefully been given to you. If you can’t remain faithful to God as a single person, then marry. If you can’t remain faithful to God and to your spouse, then don’t marry.
I will close with a story to help illustrate this:
A man calls home to his wife and says, Honey I have been asked to go fishing at a big lake up in Canada with my boss and several of his friends. We'll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I've been wanting so would you please pack me enough clothes for a week and set out my rod and tackle box. We're leaving from the office and I will swing by the house to pick my things up.
Oh! please pack my new blue silk pajamas.
The wife thinks this sounds a little fishy but being a good wife she does exactly what her husband asked.
The following weekend he comes home a little tired but otherwise looking good.
The wife welcomes him home and asks if he caught many fish?
He says,Yes! lots of Walleye, some Blugill, and a few Pike. But why didn't you pack my new blue silk pajamas like I asked you to do?
The wife replies; I did, they were in your tacklebox..........
Let Us Pray: Dear Heavenly Father, though marriage has humorous points that we can laugh at, the sanctity of it is not humorous. You have provided an institution for your created beings in your image. You provide us with a means to laugh at ourselves, but most of all, you have provided us your word to teach us and guide us in understanding each other and how to fulfill our duty to each other in the light of Jesus. Lord help us to realize that each has his or her own spouse that you have given them or will be giving them. Let each of us render unto the other due benevolence that they are as being one with us. And Lord, help those use the gift that you have given them if they feel called to be single in their life. We pray for all of this in your name, Jesus Christ, Amen.